When you view this title, you might think that I was an orphan. I was not. However, it sure felt like that for a long time. Let me start at the beginning.

My mother was unstable to say the least. Her life was built on a shaky foundation of lies. If she thought you would hate her for what she ate for lunch, she would lie to you about that. The small lies were what lead into the heavy lies. The lies that would affect my life forever.

Back in the late 1980’s, my mother had a baby boy to a guy that I assume was from high school. There was no connection or focus on a relationship between the two of them. The father wanted little to do with the new baby and even questioned whether that baby was his. Life went on, the boy grew and a few years later she got married to another man. Together, they had another baby boy. Soon after that boy was born (a little over a year later), the couple separated. Throughout this separation, my mother became pregnant. This time it was a little girl.

Her estranged husband would come to visit his son and the oldest to be a male figure in their lives. During one particular visit is where my story began. He showed up to see the boys but there was more than just the boys there. A little baby girl was asleep in her carrier. To which he questioned “Who is this baby?” Her response was “I am babysitting for a friend.” He took that at face value also keeping in mind that he knew how this woman operated. She didn’t know truth.

Visit after visit of this baby being there lead him to question “Who is this baby? Is she yours?” To that, she responded “Yes, she’s mine but she’s not yours….”

In learning about this story, I am not sure that she even knew who the father was. The story is told that she had tested 3 other men at the time and none of them were a match to this little girl (me). I was left unclaimed and unknown to whom I belonged to besides my mother.

As time went on, he watched me grow and decided that I resembled his son too much not to be his. So, without a test, he claimed me at about age 3. He was willing to be that male figure in my life. To claim me without evidence of being his.

We continued with visitation and “life” went on….

The beginning was rocky and the storm was heavy but God was with us at that time…even…if…we…didn’t…know…it.